Superpower source #1: THE MOM BUN!
So I was at a moms-only alpha group last night, and being the 12 year old that I am, I got distracted by the fact that we all had our hair up in ponytails or buns. Most, I noticed shared a very similar ballerina-gone-wrong theme. Indeed hair was pulled back, bun on the top of the back of the head. But the haphazard appearance of the bun suggests "I don't have time for this today. Screw it!" A very bold statement. So today, I decided to give it a go.
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| two elastics: 1 to secure the neatly pulled back hair, and one to make it look messy. |
I felt exactly the way my husband felt the first time he discovered stretchy-pants. Joy, excitement, and yet a sense of betrayal that no one had mentioned this before! I could feel the overwhelming super-powers of the "Mom Bun" entering my body through the top of my head. No hair in my face, and a due that is all business in a sassy kind of way... magical. It's just magic. It's one of the things that give us moms superpowers!
Superpower source #2: CAFFEINE!
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| cold brew iced coffee: 8 parts water, 1 part coffee grinds. steep 24 hrs in fridge, strain, serve with cream and syrup. |
Now, you will hear some of us say "oh I Don't drink coffee"... the term "coffee" is just a technicality! That can be worked around through the inventions of dark chocolate, green tea, iced tea, iced coffee, yarba... (okay not caffeine but close enough). The reality is, sleep comes to those who wait 10 years into child-rearing, so the energy you see is likely from caffeine or pure insanity. Now, insanity deserves special mention here, because it replaces caffeine for many pregnant and nursing mothers! It is a God-given superpower. We are literally removed from reality and given rage and passion beyond humanly possible over the slightest details such as a child not drinking a certain number of sips of their "almond beverage" (which we have the power to deem as a healthy part of this balanced breakfast). And so, whether it's caffeine or insanity, we mothers embrace this energy source with dear fondness! And we disguise it with humor and charm, and sometimes a little cover-up under the eyes.
Superpower source #3: ANYTHING OUR GRANDMOTHERS USED TO DO!
Oh yes. We can literally draw forth the super powers of our predecessors by baking a loaf of bread, making soap from scratch, making a diaper cream or lotion, creating our own cereals, or sometimes even just attending a craft show or farmers market. Yes, things like berry picking, or singing old songs... these are all a black-hole vortex we mothers create in order to gain the superpower s of our ancestors for use in our everyday lives! And then for a few moments, as we carry on their legacies, we are literally the perfect mothers!
Superpower source #4: MODERN TECHNOLOGY!
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| making bread, exactly how the cave-women did it. |
Dishwashers laundry machines, cars, bread machines, blenders... women have really had these since the dawn of time. They just hid them underground in the "root cellar" where they had their refrigerators. So when you hear a woman say "I don't know how my grandmother did this without a ____". She's really just covering for granny. She had these things... 🙄
Superpower source #5: SPACE FOR UNSUPERVISED SUPERVISION!
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| 5 acre play area, complete with structure and puppy. Open windows allow for hearing of scream-age. |
Whether this be a well barricaded living room or basement free of choking hazards, or a fenced in yard, or a large yard within hearing distance. If a mom gets things done, she's got a place for unsupervised supervision. A Dog helps greatly, as both a nanny and play-mate for said children. In fact, if the space is adequate enough, a mom may even find herself with time for "hobbies". Though most moms must be introduced to the definition of that word, prior to finding one.
Superpower source #6: THE CUTENESS FACTOR
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| literally, one of the 2 cutest children on planet earth :) |
the reality is all moms think their own kids are the cutest. It's biologically wired into us. As such, this gives us a super-human level of patience and energy for our children. Similar to that you would have for a 2 week old kitten or puppy stuck in an easy-to-reach place. This is a natural superpower that gives us a hulk-like protective drive, and energy for the every-day tasks of making food, changing diapers and the like.
Superpower source #7: A GOOD "THE LOOK"
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| it is essential to practice "the look" in selfies to ensure you are getting it right. |
Oh yes, we have perfected this look. It starts in our child's infancy, as they blow out their diapers and pull off during "let-down". We give them an endearing glare. As their innocence fades, so does the level of endearment. And what is left, is nothing short of lazer vision. We have the ability to telepathically communicate with our children through our eyes. We literally hold them captive with a look, and can open their hands to drop a forbidden item, invoke speech from their lips (usually "it was his fault" or "I didn't do it"...we're still fine-tuning our mind-control superpowers). Whatever method of discipline a family uses, this "look" is 100% part of the superpowers that reduce the need for it.
Superpower source #8: HIPPI-NESS
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| organic raisins: my choice for sucking all toxins out of my children. |
this is similar to the grandparent vortex. We use our black-hole vortex to channel all things hippie through a single organic bunch of celery. We literally can WILL our children to have a high and strong immune system through only 2% of an all-natural lifestyle! It doesn't matter that in 20 minutes we will pull into the Golden Arches for lunch, because we bought...ORGANIC RAISINS and we're gonna make our OWN raisin boxes for them!! This enables us to literally erase every toxin within a happy meal. Oh yes, this is real...
Superpower source #9: GOOD TOYS
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| there's nothing a little light brite or play doh can't fix! (and if not that, then netflix) |
"Good" is relative. But generally good means a block of wood and a foil pie pan. Alternatively mothers eagerly await their child's birthday when they can send links for expensive toys to all their relatives. It is these clever superpowers that again, enable that same mother to grow extra pairs of hands, both playing with their children, while cleaning or doing laundry (via superpower #4) and making food. In the end of this superpower, we look a lot like that Indian elephant dude with the 8 arms. Yup...it's magic!
Superpower source #10: JESUS CHRIST, GOD, and the HOLY SPIRIT...and a little grace.
THE ONLY real superpower actually. It's true that many of us have yet to accept this lesson we learn over and over again, that without Christ, we really don't get much done at all. Somehow when we make time for God, he gives us wings and we can do so much more than we thought. We are more patient we see our kids through his eyes. We sleep better, and do more. We learn, grow and forgive. And God's grace covers us when our actions don't measure up to the sincere desires in our hearts. So let's not forget our true and only superpower...to realize, we are nothing without Christ, and through him, we can be all things for our kids. :) STAY GRACIOUS MOMS!
