It's Official! We're hippies!

Well, that's it!  I just sent in our Homeschooling form to the Government of Manitoba... It's official! We're hippies! Hahaha! 

I must say this has been a really difficult journey thus far... and it's only the Journey, to the BEGINNING of the journey... To the gates of the unknown 20-21 school year. None of us know what to expect. None of us are capable of making the "right" decision. None of us are qualified to homeschool and none of us are confident enough to send our kids back to school... end of story... but we have to choose, and so we do... We will make the most of whatever decision we choose, and put our best foot forward, and step into this school year with the confidence we wish we had. 

Yup! No good answers... There just aren't. I even read one parent friend saying they plan on just calling their child in sick for the first two weeks of classes till they know what's going to happen... and EVEN THAT sounds like a wise parenting choice given the circumstances. There's no right answer here, but there's also no wrong answers.

The reality is, if we all had confidence in our capabilities to teach our own children, I think it would be a much easier decision in the end... but we don't. We all know we aren't perfect... this past school year with distance education probably gave us all a bit more of a taste of some of the uglier days of homeschooling than we'd like... and most people who choose to homeschool from the get-go don't have the luxury of actually understanding the bad and ugly parts, like 2020 parents do... the "educated decision" is part of what makes it a really, really REALLY hard decision. 

 Yup... I don't think there's a school-aged parent out there who doesn't view homeschooling parents as super heroes now! It looks so daunting and overwhelming... But what are our choices? Do we really have one?  I mean... really...

That picture above prettymuch sum it all up haha! No good choices... But by now, most parents have made a choice... And like I said, ours was the choice to do homeschool. It was a very close call... in fact many times I just simply kept a mental tally of whether I woke up feeling "pro-public-school" vs "pro-homeschool" and in the end the homeschool days won the vote, but not by a whole lot... Truthfully, we qualified for distance ed, (had we decided that route). Both boys take asthma inhalers on occasion, and with my oldest likely having ADHD and being hyper-tactile (touching everything) The pediatrician didn't hesitate to give us doctor's notes. But still... the decision between homeschooling vs. Distance Ed had to be made. In the end, I decided that having full authority over my children's education (given that I'm the one IMPLIMENTING it) was a make-it-or-break-it issue for me.  I want to decide how we do this... Kindergarten and Grade 2 aren't all that complex, (as far as my academic confidence in my ability to teach curriculum), and being able to do more hands-on learning and time together is important...

That being said, I know I have many shortcomings... and My own lack of confidence in my abilities as an educator played a HUGE roll in this decision taking so long to make.

It's not that I don't think I can do it, it's that I'm incredibly self-aware... I know I have ADHD. I know I have mood swings that are very likely mildly on the bipolar spectrum. I have highly energetic productive days, and then I have days of complete indifference and self-loathing. I have highly chaotic and careless days, and I have very low anxious fretful days... knowing that this pattern may not stop while I home school, is obviously part of my(our) reservations...

But I think my background in child welfare has set me up well for such a time as this... What I mean is that, I understand it's important to know your weaknesses, and accept help when you need it... You see, more often than not in child welfare, the difference between a parent having their child apprehended vs the child staying in a home, was the number of supports the parent was WILLING to engage with. If a parent is open to receiving supports, whether from their own family, or the agency or the like... then the parent could maintain a reasonable level of care for their child... it falls under the "it takes a villiage to raise a child" concept... most people have a villiage. If not, they create one. People who are burned out and floundering, often aren't utilizing their villiage effectively... So when I decided to homeschool, the first thing I thought about was "what is my villiage going to be?". There's a saying I saw floating around the internet in the homeschooling memes that goes like this: 

Well, part of the 2020 homeschoolers stress is that most of us DO like our village. We LOVE the elementary school our kids go to. WE are sad to pull them out. THEY are sad to be pulled out... that isn't even in the question for us (and many other parents choosing to homeschool this year). But the reality is, this decision to homeschool DOES pull our children away from that villiage, and so a new set of supports needs to be established... because we cannot do it alone.

Well, I am incredibly thankful and grateful and blessed to have both my parents and my husband's parents close by and in a position to offer assistance to us as needed. We are also going to utilize a socially distanced music teacher to provide music (MYC) lessons for the boys on a weekly basis. We are also chatting with other homeschooling families and hope to make one or two social connections to help with routinely socializing the kiddo's even throughout the pandemic. So you can see, homeschooling, doesn't necessarily mean "alone-schooling". And when you can get that into the equation, suddenly it doesn't seem quite so daunting.

That's really about as far as we've gotten with this. I have chosen curriculum (based on curriculum others have chosen basically! Hahaha!). We will be using "Gather round the table" which covers all the subjects except math. For math we will use a combination of "whatever the heck I feel like doing" and the JUMP curriculum notebooks... 

My intention for the school year to keep it very simple and basic... nothing fancy... this actually goes WAAAAY back to my new year's prophetic vision for this year that God gave me... and that is 

"Simplicity for an Implicit Means"... 

that's the "theme for 2020" that God gave me in January when I prayed about the upcoming year... and it's so applicable here and now. 

Simplicity:The quality or condition of being easy to understand or do. A thing that is plain, natural or easy to understand

Implicit: Essentially or very closely connected with; always to be found in.

Means: an action or system by which a result is brought about; a method

So essentially this is saying the actions I take, the methods I use, need to be done in a way that is plain, and easy to understand, and that creates the closest results, the fastest solution, or creates the most effective result, or draws us closer together...

So in my decision-making process, this has meant that homeschooling = dropping the ukranian program from the boys' education when they return to public school post-pandemic. It also means that I choose my curriculum, and I stick to them. Keep it simple, don't embellish it, just do what we need to do, period. Then we take an un-schooling approach to the rest of the day (learning through everyday experiences as they happen, being intentional to seize opportunities that arise, but not forcing them either). This still involves a certain amount of effort on my part, because I am generally on-or-off... so I'll have to find a way to be on autopilot and not just checking out when our schoolwork is complete for the day.

Lots to think about... I am far from qualified. I am far from educated about homeschooling. In fact I've done remarkably little research on the topic whatsoever! And at this point, I'm intentionally going to put on the blinders, and let this year get started before I let my eyes wander into the homeschooling culture/blogs/etc... I simply don't need to be comparing myself to others yet... I've been told I don't have to, so I don't plan to. :) It's only going to lead to feelings of inferiority. But a huge part of homeschooling (for me anyways) is understanding the loving authority I hold over my own children and what they learn. And the moment I make that about ME (Comparing myself to other homeschoolers) it stops being about them.... and it needs to be about them.

well, I'll leave it there for today... lots of food for thought. My prayers go out to everyone who is still undecided, and especially to those who don't have the privilege of choice at all. You are still loved and protected by God.  And to all our friends choosing public school, Know that I am proud of you for your courage and decision making. Curtis and I are both hugely supportive of the public education system and it's vast benefits for kids. We still intend to enroll our kids back at their elementary school, when the Pandemic has run its course...

To all,
love and prayers.
Krysta